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The
TIMES OF refreshing
ARE YOU A VICTIM OF
SINGLE MOM SILLY-ITUS? Scripture readings are listed throughout the
newsletter. Hi
Ladies, There is a disease going around called Single Mom Silly-itus
(not don’t get offended). Many
moms have fallen victim to this illness and it seems to be happening
quite often. Guess what?
There is a cure for Single Mom Silly-itus and the Lord has revealed
it. Read on… Let’s
discuss some of the symptoms of a common disorder called, "S/M
Dumb-itus", I am sure you can probably think of more. Symptom
No. 1: She chooses a man over the well-being of her children. The
most important people in a single mom's world (other than the Lord)
should be her children. You are responsible for their needs, safety
and, sometimes even their desires.
And all of these needs should come before anyone else,
sometimes even yours. Simply put, NEVER put a man (and I don’t care
how fine he is) before
your children! Never
allow him to mistreat your children. They should not be disciplining
your children, that is your job. Yes, they should show respect to the
person in your life, but discipline is still yours, until he says I
do. Some men try to impress the single mom by demonstrating their
ability to handle her children. Single
Mom, don't fall for it and don't allow it. Don't allow ANY man to hit
them or verbally abuse them - EVER! A God fearing man will understand
his place in your life and doesn't try to overstep it. THE CURE: Pro
31:25 Strength and honour
are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
Symptom
No. 2: She puts her own needs ahead of her children. We've
all seen it. Women who are sporting Prada,
Dolce & Gabbana, Gucci, FUBU, Donna Karan (DKNY), BCBG, Baby Phat,
Sean John, Calvin Klein and Versace
( did I name enough?), while their children are wearing worn clothes
and hand me downs clothes. And what about the ones that must get their
hair done every two weeks, and the nails done once a month, no matter
what the kids needs or what bill needs to be paid? A
mother's first responsibility is ALWAYS to her child. Your hair can
wait to be styled, and if it can’t I suggest you get a perm kit (or
whatever you use) and learn to do it yourself! Your nails won't fall
off if you miss a week or two of pampering.
If they do, take them all off and paint them yourself until you
can get to the manicurist. Believe
me, you will live! THE
CURE: Pro 31:27 She
looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of
idleness.
Symptom
No. 3: She puts down the children's father. Ladies,
I understand the man did you wrong. I understand the temptation to
rake him over the coals. But
as single moms, we have to be extra careful not to insult and demean
their father in front of them. This can create low self image in
children, teach them to hate their father, and even lead some children
to feel that they must chose between mom and dad. If a child
constantly hears the hateful sentiments his mother has against their
father, the child may draw the conclusion that they too, are
"bad" or "undesirable", just like their father. Whatever
happened between you and their father should remain that way. The children shouldn’t have to hear each time he misses
paying child support, or that he is dating someone else with kids and
doing things with her kids that he didn’t do with yours, they should
not hear that he is a no good ____, and you wish that his _____ would
fall off. That is not the
image you want the children to have of their father.
You must allow them form their own opinion.
You don’t have to worry. If he is everything you say he is,
they will find out; he can only hide it for so long.
Your job is to keep them encouraged, and feed their minds with
whatsoever things are true, honest, just, pure, and of good report. It
is not your job to discredit
their father.
Symptom
No. 4: She blames the children for her current position in life. Let’s
face it. We are where we are because of the choices we made.
The choices you made were decided by YOU. We have all spent time in “La La Land” dreaming of what
could have been if only we hadn’t gotten pregnant. Don’t do this
to yourself. Don't ever allow yourself to get lost dreaming of what
your life would have been had you not had children. Deal with reality.
Reality is you can’t blame your kids because your life didn’t turn
out the way you wanted it to. It’s not their fault that you can no
longer wear a size six! It’s not their fault that you didn’t
finish college. And it's
certainly not their fault that you can’t find and keep a man.
We've
all seen it! The crying, whining and tantrum throwing kids in the
grocery store lines. Now I believe (this is my belief, you are
entitled to disagree) children should be disciplined when they
misbehave, name-calling and jerking the kids arm out of joint are not
acceptable means for public discipline We
should not humiliate our children, but build their confidence and
promote healthy development. Our ultimate
goal is to teach the child how to conduct themselves in private
and public places, not to break their little spirits. Besides, public
displays of screaming and hitting really make YOU look ignorant,
uncouth and silly, more than it does the child.
Remember. There are always people rolling their eyes and
wishing someone would call 911 on the out of control mom, not the
child. So Moms start the training at home, and you will save yourself
a lot of stress when in public. THE
CURE: Col 3:21
… provoke not your children to
anger, lest they be discouraged.
Symptom
No. 6: She's not involved in the lives of their children. There
is more to being a mother than just feeding and clothing your
children. You must take the time to get to know your kids. They are
not "nuisances" or "distractions" in your day;
they're your children! They have had a hard day too, and they want and
need your undivided attention whenever possible and as often as
possible. Spend time
getting to know them, and going places with them. Don’t just drop
them off so you can have some free time, or see what friend they can
spend the weekend with so you and your man can have some alone time.
All right, I know you need some down time, but not every
weekend. There are too
many things your kids can get into when you drop them off at the mall
every week. So don’t just drop them off, spend time at the mall for a
while. No don’t follow
them around, but why can’t you do some window-shopping, have a
casual cup of coffee while they hang out?
There
used to be a saying when I was coming up “ IT’S 10 O’clock, do
you know where your children are?
Well do you? THE
CURE: Pro
22:6 Train up a child
in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from
it.
Symptom No. 7: She
spoils them rotten We
all know moms like this (and I am guilty).
Without consideration for boundaries, some of us mothers give
their children everything and anything they desire.
They go through life thinking the world owes them something
because they are here. They
expect things to be given to them all the time.
And if you have raised a son this way, he will be slothful
(lazy). You will have to make him work. He may never leave home, and
if he does get a job he won’t keep it long because if things don’t
go his way he always has a place to go to… his mother’s house.
Worse, your son could turn out to be a gigolo, waiting to be
kept by a woman. After
all didn’t his mom keep him? Scary isn’t it? What
about if you have raised your daughter this way, need I say what she
will be called? Gold-digger,
money grabbing etc., you’ve heard the names.
She’ll always be waiting, let me change that; she will always
be hunting for what she considers the right man.
She will be checking his stats to see what he has, where he can
take her, and checking the prices on any gift that he buys her.
This wouldn’t be a child of yours would it? Nah! The
end result…. You have
raised a child with no respect for authority and no appreciation for
hard work. You’ve
raised another welfare case. Don’t
your children deserve better? Pro 13:24
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth
him betimes. I
know it’s hard sometimes being a single mom, and none of us are
perfect, but we can aspire to be the best moms we can be.
So, don't get frustrated.
Just review the "symptoms" of "silly-itus"
from time to time to make sure you are operating as a healthy, strong
single mom, and if you are not, apply the cure! THE REWARD:
Proverbs 31:28
Now I lay me down to sleep. One good man who's sweet as pie. Man, if I should die before I wake, Please, God, don't let me go out
that way. The single life is not that bad No more makeup, won't comb my hair.
Lord, thank you for this sink of dirty dishes; Thank you for this pile of dirty, stinky laundry; And I would like to thank you, My thanks to you, Lord, for this bathroom, Thank you for this finger-smudged refrigerator Thank you, Lord, for this oven that absolutely must
be cleaned today. The whole family is grateful for that tall grass that
needs mowing, Thank you, Lord, even for that slamming screen door. Lord, the presence of all these chores awaiting me
says You have richly blessed my family.
THE
HOLY SPIRIT Dana
Ahern Please
continue to send your testimonies, shared readings and prayer requests
to chosen@cfl.rr.com
they are truly an inspiration to others. Please
continue to send your testimonies, shared readings Be
Blessed, |
