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Jealousy—Our
Hidden Sin
By John Dawson
Do you have jealousy in your heart? How much of your motivation comes
from this apparently fickle feeling? "Not much" you might say,
but do you really understand the devastating power and subtlety of this
inner passion?
You’ll be surprised at God’s perspective on this subject. In our
daily lives jealousy towards God is simply evidenced by our refusal to
give Him credit for what He alone has done. We withhold from Him that
acknowledgment of His worthiness. Thanksgiving and praise are stifled by
jealousy and envy.
A Handful Of Nothing Jealousy is the universal motive of the human heart
in all work and skill development unless the life of Jesus is being
lived through us on a daily basis. We find this sweeping statement in
the book of Ecclesiastes 4:4,6: "Then I saw that all toil and all
skill in work comes from a man’s envy of his neighbor. This also is
vanity and a striving after wind. Better is a handful of quietness than
two hands full of toil and a striving after wind."
Jealousy is totally ruthless and uncaring. It is a common motive for
murder and cruelty and lays at the root of the actions of a mass
murderer like Hitler. "Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood. But
who can stand before jealousy?" (Proverbs 27:4) "Jealousy is
cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire, which hath a
most vehement flame." (Song of Solomon 8:6)
Jealousy is hidden at the root of other motives, influencing our
thoughts and actions. As new Christians we quickly deal with areas of
obvious sin, but jealousy can lurk in the heart of even a spiritual
leader as the deepest motive for apparently noble conduct. The Bible
says, "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately
wicked," and poses the question "Who can know it?" (Jer.
17:9) Only the Spirit of God can discern for us the root of our own
motivation. We need Jesus desperately!
The Motive For The First Murder Let’s look at the painful story of the
first two little boys who grew up, Cain and Abel. "So it came about
in the course of time that Cain brought an offering to the Lord of the
fruit of the ground. And Abel, on his part also brought of the
firstlings of his flock and of their fat portions. And the Lord had
regard for Abel and for his offering; but for Cain and for his offering
He had no regard. So Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.
Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? And why has your
countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance he lifted
up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and is
desire is for you, but you must master it.’ And Cain told Abel his
brother. And it came about when they were in the field, that Cain rose
up against Abel his brother and killed him." (Genesis 4:3-8)
Have you ever really grasped the startling ruthlessness we are capable
of when this sin is entertained in our hearts? These brothers lived in a
comparatively sin free world as part of the first family. Do you think
they had affection for each other? Of course they did, but one murdered
the other because of jealousy.
Men are frequently tempted by the lust for honor and recognition. Abel
was honored by an authority, Cain was not: v.4 "And the Lord had
regard for Abel and his offering." A loving heavenly Father
counseled with Cain in the midst of his vexation (see verse 7) but he
still chose to destroy his brother to satisfy the passion of his jealous
soul. The Hebrew word for jealousy is QIN’Â, meaning deep emotional
desire. Never underestimate the power of this sin if unrestrained in
your own heart. You may not stoop to murder, but are you a character
assassin, destroying the good name of another by innuendo or accusation?
Give credit where credit is due. Envy is the enemy of honesty.
The story of Joseph and his brothers in Genesis 37:1-11 is another
example of jealousy cruelly tearing brothers apart. "And his
brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the saying in
mind." After Joseph had declared his dream, his dad took him
seriously and regarded him as a young man of importance and destiny.
This was the last straw for his brothers who conspired to murder him
even though he was the youngest.
Then there is the astounding story of David the shepherd boy and Saul
the king in I Samuel 18. Saul began by loving David, but was angered by
an underling being honored with a greater reputation. "Then Saul
became very angry, for this saying displeased him; and he said, ‘They
have ascribed to David ten thousands, but to me they have ascribed
thousands. Now what more can he have but the kingdom?’" (I Samuel
18:8)
Jealousy Among Men
Men are more vulnerable to jealousy than women in certain areas,
particularly in their desire for power, position, and title. We compare
ourselves instinctively without thinking about it. Every time we look,
everything we see - we compare ourselves: our status, our possessions,
our reputation, our relative positioning to that person, to that
institution, that object. We live in a performance oriented world where
we are taught to compete. A man’s desire for possessions often has
more to do with the prestige he hopes to gain than either the love of an
object or the desire for security. All of us need loving appreciation,
but to collect envy from the eyes of those whom we have outperformed is
a hollow victory indeed. There is no real respect for such a winner -
only alienation and loneliness.
Jealousy Among Women
The story of Rachel and Leah in Genesis 30 reveals to us some of the
particular temptations that affect women. Two sisters are miserably
locked into a contest for acceptance and security - as well as the
object the other has, whether it be a child or a handful of flowers.
Terrible roots of insecurity are revealed in Leah’s statement,
"Happy am I! For women will call me happy." Or Rachel’s
"With mighty wrestlings I have wrestled with my sister.""
A summary of this passage would lead us to conclude that a jealous woman
must possess the object another has, must gain security through
performance, and must gain the acceptance of an authority.
Another obvious vulnerability among women is the status associated with
health and beauty. Women are cruelly expected to conform to the images
of female beauty present in every culture.
Comparing Ourselves
Let’s examine two more Biblical examples that reveal the devices of
the human heart:
1. Envy when comparing ourselves with leaders. The children of Israel
envied Moses and Aaron. "They quickly forgot His works; they did
not wait for His counsel, but craved intensely in the wilderness, and
tempted God in the desert. So He gave them their request, but sent a
wasting disease among them. When they became envious of Moses in the
camp, and of Aaron, the holy one of the Lord, the earth opened and
swallowed up Dathan, and engulfed the company of Abiram. " (Psalm
106:13-17)
We are so quick to resent the privileges given to those in leadership,
but we fail to see the price that has been paid in many years of
apprenticeship under God. Moses began to pay that price as a newborn
baby. He was set in a basket and floated down the Nile. Those who raged
against him did not begin their lives in such danger, and a just God,
who measures all things, judged them harshly.
2. Envy when comparing ourselves with new or unlikely people God is
using. Do you know why the religious leaders murdered Jesus? Pontius
Pilate had a hunch concerning their motivation, so he offered them
Barabbas to find out. Barabbas stood for everything they had previously
condemned. Jesus stood for everything they were supposed to uphold.
"When therefore they were gathered together, Pilate said to them,
‘Whom do you want me to release for you? Barabbas, or Jesus who is
called Christ?’ For he knew that because of envy they had delivered
Him up." (Matt. 27:17-18)
Well, how do you feel? These are the temptations common to us all. Look
up to your heavenly Father in simple prayer and ask for His mercy and
forgiveness. There are terrible consequences for those who continue in
this sin. The curse that you have prepared for another will come upon
you, and the blessing that you have prepared for yourself will be given
to them.
Remember the story of Haman and Mordecai in the book of Esther? Haman
was the first Hitler. He committed himself to murder a whole race just
because he was not sufficiently honored by one Jew. But what happened?
His honors went to Mordecai and his own family was destroyed. He lost
his life on the gallows prepared for his enemy. Ezekiel 35:11 is a
reference to similar judgment. "‘Therefore, as I live,’
declares the Lord God, ‘I will deal with you according to your anger
and according to your envy which you showed because of your hatred
against them.’" (Ezekiel 35:11)
You may ask, "How do I deal with jealousy in my own heart?"
There are four things at the root of these thoughts and feelings.
The Roots Of Jealousy
1. A distorted picture of self. Do you know how really beautiful and
valuable you are to Jesus? We live in a performance oriented world that
presses us into its mold of conformity. We must compete with others
through our position, appearance, and possessions, or we face rejection.
Like salmon leaping at the waterfalls of opportunity, we struggle to
dominate others lest we amount to nothing. Poor exhausted child,
Jesus’ Kingdom is not like that. The basis of your value and your
beauty is really your uniqueness. You were "fearfully and
wonderfully made" and never need to envy another. You are an
original creation. There has never been a person like you before and
there never will be again. Rejoice in your uniqueness, secure in God’s
love. Only you can fulfill your particular destiny and ministry. We need
you.
2. An inflated picture of self-pride. James 3:14 says, "But if you
have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be
arrogant and so lie against the truth." Humility is to see
ourselves as we really are. We don’t even deserve to live. Your next
breath should be drawn with gratitude to God for His mercy. Jealousy is
often rooted in self-righteousness. Let us go back to the cross and
"humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God." (I Peter 5:6)
3. A twisted picture of God in His justice. Is God always fair? Of
course He is. Then why are we bent out of shape when somebody else
receives a blessing? We are failing to see the mercy of God in our own
lives and failing to admit our own partiality. Trust your heavenly
Father. He does what’s best for you.
4. Fear and insecurity in your relationship with God. Why do we become
depressed when that other woman has a new baby or that other family
moves into a beautiful new home? Why are spiritual leaders encouraged,
yet also strangely discouraged, when they hear reports of a great
victory in another person’s ministry? It stems from the subconscious
belief that the blessing of others is a sign of God’s greater love for
them. Psalm 49:16 says, "Do not be afraid when a man becomes rich,
when the glory of his house is increased."
Each of these four roots is in some way a distortion of the truth about
ourselves or about God. We must honestly face up to our need and ask God
for a further revelation of His loving heart.
Content In Christ’s Arms
Just like you, I have had my struggles with jealousy. My only hope is
Jesus. His strength is perfected in me when I daily acknowledge my
weakness. He is everything that I am not; the most secure, successful
Being in the universe, and He dwells within me. What a wonderful
testimony we have in the apostle Paul’s statement "It is no
longer I who live but Christ lives in me." (Gal. 2:20)
Responding To Jealousy
How do we respond wisely to jealousy in others? That’s a whole new
subject, but let me give you these five suggestions.
1. Don’t provoke jealousy through unwise communications. "Let us
not become boastful, challenging one another, envying one another."
2. Minister grace to others by declaring their value to you and your
need of them.
3. Withdraw from a person demonstrating open hatred or destructive
manipulation. The Bible says, "... avoid such men as these."
(see II Tim. 3:1-5)
4. Do not fear. Psalm 27:1 says, "The Lord is the defense of my
life; whom shall I dread?"
5. Bless those that curse you. Pray down every blessing on those who
through insecurity and pride have stumbled in their relationship with us
and are manifesting the marks of jealousy.
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